Its been awhile since I've dipped into my Well Being cards. Considering that I'm just getting over being sick, I thought it a good time to do so. The cards that came to my attention:
1. I practice the science of deliberate creation
2. I make many decisions (and then I make them right)
3. No one else needs to know this
4. What's my big hurry? (its all for joy) All is well
Some of this, I think has to do with my writing. I'm beginning to feel like I've bitten off more than I can chew...the B&N classes are great, but I haven't had time and energy to sit and read them. Not to mention that I haven't had the finances to order the materials. Still, I can't use that as an excuse not to write or create. Lately, I've had some wonderful scenes brewing in my head, and I should get these down on paper (so to speak). I may make the decision to drop the B&N classes for now, and take them up when I have some spare money and time (hahaha). I'd really like to concentrate on the novel writing class through fm writers. I've noticed that my idea has fleshed out some, and I have a couple ways things could go. Of course, I've always written for my own pleasure...so, I don't think I need to feel a particular pressure to get things done right this second.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
I hate being sick....
If I haven't mentioned it before...well, it bears mentioning now. I despise being sick...with a passion. Where have I been the last few days? Home. Sick. Not just "Oh, I'm not feeling well" sick...but sick.
Blech.
I missed two days of work because of this. Mistress Irony is laughing at me. Thursday, we went out to dinner to celebrate me being converted. Friday, I called in sick. Nice. What an impression I've made, yes?
Not to mention I'll be two days short on my next check...and I'm moving from being paid once a week to once every two weeks. ~*insert random noise of frustration here*~
On the bright side, I feel better. I accomplished much with the house yesterday. I feel good about it, but mildly disappointed I didn't have a 'break' while I was feeling well.
What is it with people calling me for tech support help today and making a BIGGER issue out of it than necessary by not even entertaining the idea that what I'm telling them may work.
If you don't want my help - or if you know more about it than I do - DON'T CALL!
Blech.
I missed two days of work because of this. Mistress Irony is laughing at me. Thursday, we went out to dinner to celebrate me being converted. Friday, I called in sick. Nice. What an impression I've made, yes?
Not to mention I'll be two days short on my next check...and I'm moving from being paid once a week to once every two weeks. ~*insert random noise of frustration here*~
On the bright side, I feel better. I accomplished much with the house yesterday. I feel good about it, but mildly disappointed I didn't have a 'break' while I was feeling well.
What is it with people calling me for tech support help today and making a BIGGER issue out of it than necessary by not even entertaining the idea that what I'm telling them may work.
If you don't want my help - or if you know more about it than I do - DON'T CALL!
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Good news....
As of the 22nd of this month, I will no longer be a temporary employee.
This calls for celebration.
This calls for celebration.
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Discombobulated....
Today has been a very off day for me. I've switched teams, hours and desks. Of course, not everything goes smoothly - it never does. Oh, I'm not saying it went terribly wrong, either....just enough to put me out of sorts.
It started at about 4 am this morning, with Pookah screaming her displeasure of loosing her binkie. That continued every 20 minutes or so until I actually woke up to get ready for work. I left the house early to be sure I was here early, so that I could set up my computer.
Traffic was great, but the computer wasn't cooperating well. Argh. I can recieve email, but I can't send it currently. It's thought to be an Outlook error, which means MIS is going to have to do something with it. It also means that I can't port over my pst files - you know, the ones with email in personal files. Not like I need that info or anything. I can't get jabber to work. I even forgot my own logon to our knowlege base ~*whimper*~
On the bright side, our main program works better from this station. Most applications do, actually. I like the desk better...and I'm already moved in. I have my 'collection' placed on the shelf, pics of the kids up and even a comic someone 'gifted' me :)
My body is dragging because I'm not used to these hours. In the long end, I think I'll like them better even though I'm up earlier. I hope traffic is going to be better on the whole - hard to judge by today because yesterday was a holiday.
I thought I'd be warm up here, but I'm not. I've spent the last half of my day shivering. I'm by a large bank of windows....which I'd take over the door any day. I have my blanket here, and I think that once I get warm, it'll be easier to stay that way. I have to remember to bring in a sweatshirt too - I don't think I need my jacket per se.
Its not a bad day, really....just an off day.
It started at about 4 am this morning, with Pookah screaming her displeasure of loosing her binkie. That continued every 20 minutes or so until I actually woke up to get ready for work. I left the house early to be sure I was here early, so that I could set up my computer.
Traffic was great, but the computer wasn't cooperating well. Argh. I can recieve email, but I can't send it currently. It's thought to be an Outlook error, which means MIS is going to have to do something with it. It also means that I can't port over my pst files - you know, the ones with email in personal files. Not like I need that info or anything. I can't get jabber to work. I even forgot my own logon to our knowlege base ~*whimper*~
On the bright side, our main program works better from this station. Most applications do, actually. I like the desk better...and I'm already moved in. I have my 'collection' placed on the shelf, pics of the kids up and even a comic someone 'gifted' me :)
My body is dragging because I'm not used to these hours. In the long end, I think I'll like them better even though I'm up earlier. I hope traffic is going to be better on the whole - hard to judge by today because yesterday was a holiday.
I thought I'd be warm up here, but I'm not. I've spent the last half of my day shivering. I'm by a large bank of windows....which I'd take over the door any day. I have my blanket here, and I think that once I get warm, it'll be easier to stay that way. I have to remember to bring in a sweatshirt too - I don't think I need my jacket per se.
Its not a bad day, really....just an off day.
Saturday, January 14, 2006
Stories of Bug...
The other day, I bought this 'build yourself' dragon by Mega Blocks. It comes in an egg, and it looked really neat so I thought I'd bring it to work to display.
That is..until my son got ahold of it. He played with it most of the evening, happily making dragon sounds and petting it, calling it 'nice dragon' in this whisper-soft voice. (My son doesn't whisper). He also had some farm animals out to play with.
Fates took the bull, put it in the dragon's mouth and showed Bug. I laughed and shook my head. Bug thought it was the greatest thing. Upon taking back the dragon - complete with bull - he settled into a routine of taking the bull in and out of the dragon's mouth. All this done while singing the only line of "Home on the Range" he knows.... "Where the deer and the antelope play!" at full volume.
I wonder if my son realizes his sense of humor....
That is..until my son got ahold of it. He played with it most of the evening, happily making dragon sounds and petting it, calling it 'nice dragon' in this whisper-soft voice. (My son doesn't whisper). He also had some farm animals out to play with.
Fates took the bull, put it in the dragon's mouth and showed Bug. I laughed and shook my head. Bug thought it was the greatest thing. Upon taking back the dragon - complete with bull - he settled into a routine of taking the bull in and out of the dragon's mouth. All this done while singing the only line of "Home on the Range" he knows.... "Where the deer and the antelope play!" at full volume.
I wonder if my son realizes his sense of humor....
Sunday, January 08, 2006
AHA!
By George...I think I've got it! I've been wondering how to change links, "add" friends and the like. While on hold with a customer, I flipped around the help screens...finally figured out what they were referring to (Yes, it does help if I actually..you know...read). Viola! I now have links.
And now, I do a victory wiggle-dance-type thing in my chair (while I try not to be obvious about it - cause, I'm the normal one here), and go home.
And now, I do a victory wiggle-dance-type thing in my chair (while I try not to be obvious about it - cause, I'm the normal one here), and go home.
Maybe I should see that doctor....
Between calls today, and on lunch, I've found myself reading a particularly intriguing blog. I don't recall where I stumbled upon it - I think on "notable blogs" - but that's not really relevant to the thoughts bouncing in my head.
http://thesplinteredmind.blogspot.com/
He writes about being an adult with ADHD, and the challenges it brings to everyday life. I'll admit, I've thought about it on occassion and wondered if I display some of the symptoms of ADD. I don't believe I have the hyperactivity - but I do display some of the other traits, such as hyperfocusing, easily distracted, rarely (if ever) finishing a project, and procrastinating. I know that in the last couple of years, my mother has been diagnosed with ADD. I am aware that this doesn't automatically mean that I have it...but, what if?
I keep telling myself that it sounds silly, that its just the product of living life in today's world. I keep telling myself that I can't run to the doctor with every little suspicion I may have about my life or my reactions. I feel like a hypochondriac. "Yes, doctor, I have a sniffle....do I have pneumonia?" Oddly enough, I rarely go to the doctor at all. I dislike doctors....well, not the doctors themselves so much as the effort it takes to get to the doctor, the sheer amount of time it takes to wait. Not to mention the incredible restless boredom that builds - regardless of any form of entertainment I bring - that has a leg bouncing so hard and fast that it vibrates the chair two down from me. Or the numbness in the brain....that feel that means you almost don't realize that it is, indeed, your name being called by the nurse and you end up just staring at her like she's just sprouted tentacles out of her head for half a minute.
Then there's the thought of "And what if I do have it?" What then? Does it truly change anything in my life to have this diagnosis? Does it suddenly make everything that much better or more tolerable? Not to mention medication....I hate pills. I rarely remember to take them for more than a few days at a time...I still have prenatal pills from both pregnancies, and my daughter's a year old. I've never refilled those. I know that my mother is on medication for depression and sleep...and I desperately don't want to be on pills for the rest of my life at the age of 32.
Reading this blog has actually been beneficial, I think. Oh, I don't know that I'm ready to call the doctor and sit for an hour or more while she scrutinizes me. I imagine she's inwardly rolling her eyes and thinking "not another one". I feel like she's judging me, thinking that I'm paranoid. In all likeliness, she's probably not thinking anything of the sort.
Back to the blog... its helped me understand a few things, even if it is just on a cursory level at the moment. In his posts, he lists some symptoms from a book....I'm not sure of the reference to be honest with you, but its there on his blog... and the first few I've read, are me. I mean..they really are. I do those things..,.maybe not for the exact reasons listed, but pretty similar.
Why do I get so easily distracted? Because I have a hard time focusing....thoughts come out faster than I can record them....or speak them, often times. When I write, my brain is four steps ahead of my hand...and it results in entire sentances missing from whatever I'm working on. More ofthen than not, it leads to copious amounts of single words being left out. It isn't just that. Its the fact that I can't seem to complete anything...it takes way too long. I learned to knit and crochet when I was younger...I think I half managed to finish a chain in each. I've never done either again. I still have a smattering of ceramic things I started to paint 2 years ago, and haven't finished. These are only a couple examples of the string of things left incomplete during my lifetime.
I procrastinate. Why? Because I simply "don't want to" or "don't feel like it". How long have I put off cleaning the music room that so desperately needs it? At least a month now. Why? Because I look at it and sigh. Partly, I'm afraid of what I'm going to find. Its been accumulating junk for nearly a year now, and one of the cats practically lives in there. Scratch that...she does live in there - often opting to come out only for food and petting. I look in that room and my first thought is "Where do I begin?" I groan inwardly...and promptly get distracted with something else - or assign another room in the house a higher priortiy, usually with the exuse that said room hasn't been done in awhile either, and its more visible than the music room.
Again, it isn't just the music room - or the house in general. Its phone calls, making lunch for the kids the night before instead of scrambling in the morning, getting myself organized, grocery shopping, even shopping in general. Its loosing weight, becoming more active, achieving my goal and desire to become a writer, and a myriad of other things that I can't think of right now.
In the end, I feel worthless because I haven't accomplished cleaning the music room, or gone to the grocery store, or accomplished the arm length list of things to do in my day. Nevermind that I worked an 8 hour day, spent time with the kids, got them ready for bed....or that I cleaned the living room and kitchen, maybe even a little bit of my bedroom.
Maybe I should see that doctor.....
http://thesplinteredmind.blogspot.com/
He writes about being an adult with ADHD, and the challenges it brings to everyday life. I'll admit, I've thought about it on occassion and wondered if I display some of the symptoms of ADD. I don't believe I have the hyperactivity - but I do display some of the other traits, such as hyperfocusing, easily distracted, rarely (if ever) finishing a project, and procrastinating. I know that in the last couple of years, my mother has been diagnosed with ADD. I am aware that this doesn't automatically mean that I have it...but, what if?
I keep telling myself that it sounds silly, that its just the product of living life in today's world. I keep telling myself that I can't run to the doctor with every little suspicion I may have about my life or my reactions. I feel like a hypochondriac. "Yes, doctor, I have a sniffle....do I have pneumonia?" Oddly enough, I rarely go to the doctor at all. I dislike doctors....well, not the doctors themselves so much as the effort it takes to get to the doctor, the sheer amount of time it takes to wait. Not to mention the incredible restless boredom that builds - regardless of any form of entertainment I bring - that has a leg bouncing so hard and fast that it vibrates the chair two down from me. Or the numbness in the brain....that feel that means you almost don't realize that it is, indeed, your name being called by the nurse and you end up just staring at her like she's just sprouted tentacles out of her head for half a minute.
Then there's the thought of "And what if I do have it?" What then? Does it truly change anything in my life to have this diagnosis? Does it suddenly make everything that much better or more tolerable? Not to mention medication....I hate pills. I rarely remember to take them for more than a few days at a time...I still have prenatal pills from both pregnancies, and my daughter's a year old. I've never refilled those. I know that my mother is on medication for depression and sleep...and I desperately don't want to be on pills for the rest of my life at the age of 32.
Reading this blog has actually been beneficial, I think. Oh, I don't know that I'm ready to call the doctor and sit for an hour or more while she scrutinizes me. I imagine she's inwardly rolling her eyes and thinking "not another one". I feel like she's judging me, thinking that I'm paranoid. In all likeliness, she's probably not thinking anything of the sort.
Back to the blog... its helped me understand a few things, even if it is just on a cursory level at the moment. In his posts, he lists some symptoms from a book....I'm not sure of the reference to be honest with you, but its there on his blog... and the first few I've read, are me. I mean..they really are. I do those things..,.maybe not for the exact reasons listed, but pretty similar.
Why do I get so easily distracted? Because I have a hard time focusing....thoughts come out faster than I can record them....or speak them, often times. When I write, my brain is four steps ahead of my hand...and it results in entire sentances missing from whatever I'm working on. More ofthen than not, it leads to copious amounts of single words being left out. It isn't just that. Its the fact that I can't seem to complete anything...it takes way too long. I learned to knit and crochet when I was younger...I think I half managed to finish a chain in each. I've never done either again. I still have a smattering of ceramic things I started to paint 2 years ago, and haven't finished. These are only a couple examples of the string of things left incomplete during my lifetime.
I procrastinate. Why? Because I simply "don't want to" or "don't feel like it". How long have I put off cleaning the music room that so desperately needs it? At least a month now. Why? Because I look at it and sigh. Partly, I'm afraid of what I'm going to find. Its been accumulating junk for nearly a year now, and one of the cats practically lives in there. Scratch that...she does live in there - often opting to come out only for food and petting. I look in that room and my first thought is "Where do I begin?" I groan inwardly...and promptly get distracted with something else - or assign another room in the house a higher priortiy, usually with the exuse that said room hasn't been done in awhile either, and its more visible than the music room.
Again, it isn't just the music room - or the house in general. Its phone calls, making lunch for the kids the night before instead of scrambling in the morning, getting myself organized, grocery shopping, even shopping in general. Its loosing weight, becoming more active, achieving my goal and desire to become a writer, and a myriad of other things that I can't think of right now.
In the end, I feel worthless because I haven't accomplished cleaning the music room, or gone to the grocery store, or accomplished the arm length list of things to do in my day. Nevermind that I worked an 8 hour day, spent time with the kids, got them ready for bed....or that I cleaned the living room and kitchen, maybe even a little bit of my bedroom.
Maybe I should see that doctor.....
Sunday morning
Its Sunday morning, and I'm tired. I was out late last night..and up later than I really should have been. I know its my own fault that I'm tired, and I'm willing to accept that.
I had been hoping that today would be a quiet day on the phones. Apparently, customers had a different idea in store for me. Once again Mistress Irony and Master Murphy raise their hands to meddle in my life. Have I truly earned myself a karma smack somewhere along the line?
Yeah, I probably have. *whimper* I don't wanna take anymore calls! Make them go away!
I had been hoping that today would be a quiet day on the phones. Apparently, customers had a different idea in store for me. Once again Mistress Irony and Master Murphy raise their hands to meddle in my life. Have I truly earned myself a karma smack somewhere along the line?
Yeah, I probably have. *whimper* I don't wanna take anymore calls! Make them go away!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Creating my own worlds
I've always been good at creating my own worlds inside my head. Those worlds, though, seem to loose something in translation each attempt to put them on paper. I have characters, lives, terrain...everything but a name for this ever-changing world.
To this vain, and because I really must get into the swing of writing again, I have signed up for a couple writing classes via the internet. The first one is a novel writing class, offered by fmwriters.com. I know that I've gotten in, and I'm excited about being able to start. The other two are both offered by Barnes & Noble online university. There's material to buy for that, and when I get paid again, I'll probably do just that. Those classes start on the 9th, and I'm looking forward to it. One is for mystery writing, the other for science fiction writing. Its time that I start the create juices flowing again - and time that I learn to be consistant with it. Writing is not instant gratification, and I must remember this.
To this vain, and because I really must get into the swing of writing again, I have signed up for a couple writing classes via the internet. The first one is a novel writing class, offered by fmwriters.com. I know that I've gotten in, and I'm excited about being able to start. The other two are both offered by Barnes & Noble online university. There's material to buy for that, and when I get paid again, I'll probably do just that. Those classes start on the 9th, and I'm looking forward to it. One is for mystery writing, the other for science fiction writing. Its time that I start the create juices flowing again - and time that I learn to be consistant with it. Writing is not instant gratification, and I must remember this.
Friday, January 06, 2006
Holidays
Don't we have some holiday grace period or something? Before we've even recovered from our New Year's hangovers, Valentines day merchandise is glaring at us from store shelves.
Am I the only one who's not ready to consider another holiday yet? I mean, we've been in "Holiday mode" since October, maybe even before that. Before October is in full swing, there's Christmas decorations and gift ideas screaming at us, nevermind the Thanksgiving Holiday. In recent years, we've just started passing that one over. Before Christmas has even heralded its presence (or presents), we have New Year's laughing at us.
Maybe I'm just looking through rose tinted glasses, but I seem to recall a time when the holidays weren't geared so much for consumers. They were more about the holidays. You didn't see Halloween until the first day of October (and those were the 'early birds'), or Thanksgiving until after Halloween, or Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving.
Over the years I have lost my sense of anticipation for the holidays. I'm sure some of it is growing older. We all know that time passes differently as we age. I'm relatively certain that part of it is new found adult life stresses - the worry of finding things for everyone. I'm absolutely convinced that a good portion of this loss of anticipation - which, lets face it, was a good part of the fun - is due to the fact that for months before the holiday we are so inundated with merchandise and well wishings, that by the time the holiday arrives we're so tired of seeing or hearing about it that we're just done. Why do we insist on doing things ad nauseum in today's society?
Am I the only one who's not ready to consider another holiday yet? I mean, we've been in "Holiday mode" since October, maybe even before that. Before October is in full swing, there's Christmas decorations and gift ideas screaming at us, nevermind the Thanksgiving Holiday. In recent years, we've just started passing that one over. Before Christmas has even heralded its presence (or presents), we have New Year's laughing at us.
Maybe I'm just looking through rose tinted glasses, but I seem to recall a time when the holidays weren't geared so much for consumers. They were more about the holidays. You didn't see Halloween until the first day of October (and those were the 'early birds'), or Thanksgiving until after Halloween, or Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving.
Over the years I have lost my sense of anticipation for the holidays. I'm sure some of it is growing older. We all know that time passes differently as we age. I'm relatively certain that part of it is new found adult life stresses - the worry of finding things for everyone. I'm absolutely convinced that a good portion of this loss of anticipation - which, lets face it, was a good part of the fun - is due to the fact that for months before the holiday we are so inundated with merchandise and well wishings, that by the time the holiday arrives we're so tired of seeing or hearing about it that we're just done. Why do we insist on doing things ad nauseum in today's society?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Welcome
I've started over with this. I have a livejournal that I use, and update whenever I'm home. Work, however, does not allow me access to the site. Apparently, this site isn't blocked, so I'll use this when I can.
I'm not at work right now, but its much easier to do the set up when I don't have to worry about calls. The call volume today was high. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier. It didn't help that I was tired today though. I was up earlier than usual - had to take the man to the airport. Not that I mind, he bought me coffee on the way there :) Always a plus.
I put in for a shift change at work a few days ago. They had several shifts to bid on, and I bid on a handful. I got notice today that I will be changing shifts, and my new schedule will begin on the 15th. With this new schedule, I'll have Sundays and Mondays off. Not only that, but I'm off earlier in the evening. This means more time with the kids, and an entire day - or at least most of it - with the kids, for sure. It also means that I have a day off without them. It makes it harder to see the man, but I think we can work around that.
Today I signed up for 2yn on fmwriters.com. I'm hoping I'll have the time to devote to this like I think I do. I'm also hoping to get the knowlege to actually complete a novel. I'm decent at the short stories, and even better at poetry, when I actually write. I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for awhile, and I think its time that it came to life. Hopefully, I made the roster in time.
I'm not at work right now, but its much easier to do the set up when I don't have to worry about calls. The call volume today was high. I'm hoping tomorrow will be a bit easier. It didn't help that I was tired today though. I was up earlier than usual - had to take the man to the airport. Not that I mind, he bought me coffee on the way there :) Always a plus.
I put in for a shift change at work a few days ago. They had several shifts to bid on, and I bid on a handful. I got notice today that I will be changing shifts, and my new schedule will begin on the 15th. With this new schedule, I'll have Sundays and Mondays off. Not only that, but I'm off earlier in the evening. This means more time with the kids, and an entire day - or at least most of it - with the kids, for sure. It also means that I have a day off without them. It makes it harder to see the man, but I think we can work around that.
Today I signed up for 2yn on fmwriters.com. I'm hoping I'll have the time to devote to this like I think I do. I'm also hoping to get the knowlege to actually complete a novel. I'm decent at the short stories, and even better at poetry, when I actually write. I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for awhile, and I think its time that it came to life. Hopefully, I made the roster in time.
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