Revamping

So, I'm considering revamping this thing. I've been absent for some time - and I'm not entirely sure the blog world really cares. In fact, I'm not entirely sure that the blog world even knows I'm here.
Once again, I've become the quiet little wall-flower. But, really, I'm okay with that..I tend to be safer that way. I haven't blogged much because, well, there are some people here at work who've been let go for just such a thing. I've been playing it safe, though I suppose, on my breaks I could chance a log in occassionally. I just haven't felt like testing that theory. I'm simply not in the mood to try and find a new job....

Well, I'm back.

I think I've managed to merge the two accounts - the beta and the old one. I created a beta one before, so there's a post floating out there somewhere. At the moment, it doesn't say much. I just thought I'd check in...let anyone out there who may be interested know that I'm alright. We had access to live journal at work for awhile, but now we don't. This isn't much of a surprise, though.

I'll post more later....lots of things to tell about.

Broke the news...

Last night, I broke the news to mom that I want to move. She wasn't real pleased with this. I knew she wouldn't be happy, per se...but I didn't really expect her to be mad. She said she wasn't, it kind of seemed like she was.
I told her about the place in Renton, and she complained that it was so far away. Its a half hour drive from Seattle - 45 minutes with traffic. She complained that she didn't know the area. Well, learn. I mean...its not that difficult.
She said that I can't just stick them in any old daycare...there's lots of bad ones. I countered with the fact that there's lots of good ones too. Not like I'm going to just pick one at random and go "Here, have my kids....use and abuse 'em how you see fit."
She then later asked me who would stay home with the kids when they're sick; who would take them to the doctors, etc. I mean, its like she feels she's never going to see them again. I'm not denying her her grandchildren...I just need space of my own.
The house we're looking at has Kindercare down the street - they're good, I hear. And, they do take state assistance. M & L are willing to help with coordinating drop off/pick up and watching the kids when needed.
Mom even asked if this was the best choice for the kids. Last night, I was so upset, I was crying. I resent that she's making me doubt my decision. I know that I can't stay there...I don't feel like I have control of anything, and its stressful. I'm sure that the kids have picked up on that, as well. In fact, Bug has started to threaten to kick me out of the house when he gets upset with me. He gets that right from grandma. She threatens that, too, when she's angry.
I talked to R about it last night, and she thinks I'll just have to take it day by day and buck up essentially. It just hurts that mom's reacting this way - doubting my decision as a mother, or thinking it totally selfish. If I'm happier, it would stand to reason that the kids will be happier. It's going to be a little rocky while adjusting, sure...but change is rarely done without some sort of "bumps".

Updates!

There's a lot to update here. I've been using Live Journal again, since we have access at work. I'm not sure how long that will last, so I'm taking advantage. However, there are still things that I don't want to chance jackass having easy access to. I know that I can lock my LJ from him - but there's a lot of people who know us both, and well, its just simpler this way.

First big change - Fates and I are no longer together. We're still friends, so it wasn't a big messy break up. We just came to a mutual conclusion that we weren't ready for the commitment like we thought. It was such a relief to talk to him (finally) and find out he was feeling the same thing. We still do things together - in fact we have plans on Friday.
Second and newest big change - I may be moving. I'll be moving in with a couple, friends I've known for awhile and now work with. They've found a 6 bedroom house in the Renton area that would be just perfect for us. It has a fenced yard, a park next door, the downstairs is a mother in law style apartment, complete with kitchen. It has an indoor hot tub as well.
This means I'd have to find a new daycare with hours comparable to mine, and get the van working. It also means that I have to tell mom...which is going to be tough. I don't really want to take the kids from her. I don't want to leave her in a financial lurch either. On the other hand, I know that I can't stay and keep my sanity.

Naughty Mama!

My son...my, beautiful, creative, wonderous, loveable...albiet sometimes all too troublesome son...

Got into my nail polish and painted his toes.

He told me... "Naughty mama!"

I'm still here

Its been a little while since I've updated, as usual. I keep meaning to get everything caught up, but there's so much to post. Mostly because I wait to do it, I think. You'd think I'd learn. Alternatively, I wait because I don't really have much to post most of the time. Life seems to go on in its own way - the day to day activities are relatively the same. I work, I come home to take care of the kids, I grumble about my living arrangements. Lately, you can add fighting with grandma to that list of "usual" things.
Later at night, I hang out online. I've been getting lots of roleplaying in, and lots of chatting. I've found a place on alt that I enjoy, and find myself there quite often. I watch a bit of tv, depending on the night and what's on. Relatively boring stuff. Relatively boring life.
I do manage to make it out of the house occassionally. I make it to a meet and greet for AFF sometimes, or out to the LH for a party. In fact, Fates made the last party with me. Not much happened, but I enjoyed myself just the same.
We've changed buildings at work. We've moved a few miles north, which really doesn't make a difference on my commute overall. I like the new building, though we're encountering some minor...and probably not so minor..issues. Today, there's not much in the way of pop selection. There's no change in the change machine, and the food vending machine is practically empty. More major things - there are people not set up on the network, phones not working, etc. I think that most of those issues have been taken care of though.
My first day here was Saturday. Thankfully, its a quiet day. There were only a handful of us who had full access...and I was one of them. Go figure :P
This new building has a big game room - which includes a ping pong table, a pool table, two video games, a pinball machine, an area for the Xbox and a table for sitting/eating. Its a nice big room. There's an atrium, which is really nice. I have plans to eat out there sometime, with my book.

My dad will be in town this weekend, and I'm excited to see him. Its been almost two years. Bug will enjoy seeing him - he got excited when I told him grandpa was coming to town. Dad will be bringing his wife. It'll be nice to see her as well, its been even longer since I've seen her. They'll be up for the long weekend, but then go home after that. Not a very long trip.

I have got to get a notebook to keep in the car. Yesterday, I had a whole flood of thoughts. I managed to write some of them down, but it would be nice to record them or something. By the time I get home, deal with dinner and the kids...those thoughts are long gone. Even if I do remember what I was thinking about, it never seems as "smooth" as what I had been thinking in the car.
Tonight, I should be able to get those thoughts out here...at least what I have jotted down. Maybe even add to those, and keep the fluidity of them. I've had some insights "handed" to me, and now I must mull them over.

Happy birthday to me!!

Its that time of year again. I'm another year older. *groan*

Today hasn't been all that bad. I should have taken today off, just because. Eh, well. I'm actually in a fairly good mood today, despite the issues cropping up around me. At least their serious issues and not someone just being rude and/or stupid. Much easier to handle, even if it is more of a pain on the support level. :D

Fates is taking me out to dinner tonight - or cooking. Not sure which it is yet. We may hit a M&G for AFF, or go out to a movie. Yes, we're great planners as you can see.

I bought myself a copy of Sims 2 Open for Business for my birthday. I got to play with it a little, though I haven't gotten real far into yet. My sim bought a house and bought a business. (*cough* those money cheats are great *coughcough*). I only got so far as decorating the house and buying the business. I'm hoping to play it a bit more soon.

Alright, I'm off work now. I have more to say, but, frankly, I don't want to hang around much longer!